Been a while..

It has been about 5 months since I last posted. I managed to fill my hands with so much stuff I couldn't put it down long enough to type. I can't say the last few months have been the best. I have lost faith in most of what I held closest, but I've resolved to let it build back up. It won't be easy or quick - but maybe someday I will move beyond all of this. For now I will take pleasure in the cursory aspects of relationships until a more solid foundation can be built.

I do not believe that anyone deserves a free pass in life. For everything you do there will be a reaction while at times there may be reward, in others there is reprisal. There is only so much any one person can take - or any one person can do before the curtains are pulled back and the truth is revealed. The main issue is when the curtains are shielding a mirror - and only when one's reflection is accepted can you grow and move on. Only then can you change the patterns of the past and find joy in the future ahead.

Can the past be changed? No. Can it be left behind? No. You are fooling yourself if you think it can be. It is a part of you. Every thing you've done to help people, educate yourself - endanger yourself or hold others down, is a part of who you are. You cannot spew loathing and cruelty without those of whom you speak finding out. You cannot move on without being contrite for the wrong doing. You can turn over a new leaf - but without facing the truth about what you've done or who you are - you will never gain the trust of the people in your life who've shared your journey, your pain, your joy, your past.

It is said that ignorance is bliss, I believe that true bliss is ignorance of self; Having absolutely no concept of your impact on others. What joy there must be for the bull who crashed through the china shop. Does he have any concept of the damage left in his wake; or was he just thrilled to get in a good run and escape unscathed? To be clueless of yourself. To have no concept of personal impact - must be nirvana for the individual, but what kind of hell it must be for those who must coexist in their world.

I cannot change anyone but myself. My sister asked me once how I show love.. easy. I don't lie to you. If you ask me if you look fat, I will tell you the truth. If you want to know what I think about buying a certain car... yep... I'll tell you what I think. Politics? Pull up a chair we'll be here for a while. Life in general? I will tell you what I think, what I would do... however I will not care what path you chose. In the end it is your life and you are responsible for your actions.

So here goes. This year is going to be about taking responsibility. I will no longer swallow miss deeds only to dish them out as resolution for past transgressions. I will not look harshly on the ignorant. I will not hold grudges and I will live in the moment.

Happy New Year

Took the at home business plunge...

Last night I signed on to be a consultant for Usborne Books. I am hoping it works out for my kids and my bank account. It would be great to earn some extra income and bring new books into the home.

The program is pretty straight forward. I book parties, sell books and maintain a webpage. The start-up was only $50. The webpage was up and running within 24 hours.

My goal is to bring in $300 a month to cover the kids preschool costs. Anything over that amount will go into our savings. It would be great to have some breathing room to do the things we want (like birthday parties LOL).

So if you know a kid or have a friend who has a kid I will shamelessly ask you to support my venture. Hit up the webpage and order some books. They have everything you could want from Aesop's Fables to 100 Science Experiments. There is something for everyone - and its just one of the reasons I wanted to sign on.

They also offer incentives if you would like to give it a shot as well. I'll let you all know how I do - well - you'll be a big part of how I do. Wish me luck!

~Jinger

Dinner Warfare

Yep its that time again... where I have to stop being the good guy and start being a parent. Luke has been playing me like a fiddle for about 2 years.

Yes, two years and only at the dinner table. I don't feel like it and he knows it. By the time 5:30 rolls around I no longer have the energy or the will to fight with him about eating. So, I make 3 plates of "grown up food" for Mamma, Dadda and B.D. and two kiddo plates for Luke and Kadee.

I always swore I'd never be that mom. Who makes 4 different dinners. I have done pretty well... we only have two menus for dinner adult and kids. Tonight that all changes. We had a check up a couple weeks ago and the Dr. said no more kiddie plate for Luke or Kadee. We were told no snacks before dinner and that we eat ONE meal together. He'll either eat or go to bed hungry.

Tonight's the night. Dinner is Baked BBQ chicken with a side of broccoli and apple sauce. Lukey is going to be one cranky little man, but he'll survive. I wonder if I will.

Wisdom...

...from a toddler.

Today we had the pleasure of taking Luke and Kadee to a joint well baby visit. Kadee screamed for about 90 minutes straight - and that was before the shots. Now onto the good stuff.

Apparently, at the 3 y.o. well child checkup kids are now expected to pee in a cup. Yep. A toddler pee'ing in a cup. In all of our brilliance Byron and I decide that I will be the one to take Luke to the potty to get the sample.

Now Lukey took a trip to the potty about 30 seconds before they called our name to go into the exam room. I knew it wouldn't be an easy mission, but I asked him if he was ready and he said "Yeah mamma I got lots a peepees."

We set off down the hall and Luke lets me know that he's "Gonna fill up dat cup to da tops with all my peepees." He reassured me "I can do it Mamma, I'm good at going poddy". I agree and we enter the bathroom. And Lukey gets down to the business of getting the business done.

To my shock and horror Lukey did have to go potty and it wasn't that big of a cup. As I begin to shriek "No, Lukey!!! Stop stop!! OH NO ~~ Baby STOP PEE'ing!!!"

with a giggle and a smirk he says "It doesn't work like dat, MaMa. You can't dop da peepees."

Have I ever mentioned how great a cape is for quick clean-up?

Precious Moments...

There is something special about a daughter. She is sweet gentle... and just different than her brothers. The boys will spend the entire day raging like baby tigers looking for a fight. If they aren't fighting with each other - they make up imaginary beings to wage battle against. It is amazing the amount of violent energy that comes from a boy.

On the other hand. My baby girl will sit in the middle of their firestorm of terror playing with stacking blocks, a piano... dolls. Blissfully unaware of the furry surrounding her. She coos and sings, giggles and talks to herself.

Well, today was no different. The boys were creating "actions" (accidents) with their thomas the train engines. The trains would fly through the air like little red, blue or green hand grenades then crash into the pile of trucks & tracks below. The boys wailed with laughter - jumping and screeching with happiness at the destructive results of their "action".

Baby girl toddles over to me, crawls into my lap and coos something in Kadee-Talk then kisses mommy sweetly on the cheek while a train car goes racing past her face. She strokes my cheek... bats her eye lashes and farts like an elephant on my leg.

He brothers approve with an impromtu dance of joy. I guess they have been teaching her a thing or two.

A dream is a wish your heart makes...

and sometimes they come true.

This past week. Byron and I hosted our closest family and friends for a week of fun and to be part of our vow renewal and reception.

I dreamed for DECADES of my wedding. At fate would have it... Byron and I married in 2005 in the Doo Wop Diner at the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel. Not exactly Princess Diana Part 2. I told everyone in my life that we would be having a "real wedding" someday, and that vegas wasn't "my wedding". ~~~~ As they finally finally figured out I wasn't kidding.

This past Saturday, with 70 friends and family present we renewed our vows then hit the dance floor to celebrate our love and 5 years of marriage. I could NOT have asked for a more perfect or beautiful day.

The ceremony was fun filled, and written by our close friend Jessie Frost. My Uncle Paul officiated the event. The reception was amazing, food outstanding and music kept everyone on the dance floor.

A wedding/ vow renewal... whatever you call it... is NOT about the BRIDE!!! It is NOT about a dress... it is not about being a DIVA or a PRINCESS! It is about the bonding of two families, the joining of two lives and the JOY and CELEBRATION of two people becoming one. For 5 years I listened to people ask me WHY we needed this day. Then as our guests arrives, the festivities began and the days passed by I didn't have to answer anymore. Everyone understood.

My stepfather is planning a fishing trip with our bestman Sully. My cheerleaders partied with our Sailor buddies... I danced with my dad... I don't have to explain to my Mom what my Mother In Law is like. This is what it is all about. We are now one... He and I, and our family and friends are joined forever by the memory of that day!!!

Thank you all for joining me. I have to give a special thank you to Erin Rondeau and Jill Sullens. These two worked soooooo hard to make every detail perfect for our day. From programs to candles these two made such a huge impact on the day. Without them so many little things would have fallen through the cracks. LOVE YOU!

p.s. I will post later with pics and vendor info.

You get what you get...

and you don't throw a fit!

Ahhh, the wisdom of preschool etiquette.

Here at the Brinkley house we have a simple, but fun tradition in reference to our birthdays. By "our" I am referring to my husband and I. We let the kids design our birthday cake. They tell the opposite parent what they want and we surprise them with it.

Byron Duke and Luke have been planning my birthday cake since Byron arrived back from Iraq in early November. I was a little concerned because everytime I inquired about the cake my husband would smirk and laugh with a quiet "You'll see".

Well, today the moment arrived. He ordered the cake from a friend of a friend (thanks Crystal - Winky did an awesome job) drove an hour to get it and arrived home with the creation in hand. As I walked across the kitchen with my camera in hand my mind flashed to all of the things the kids could have focused on this year...

Disney, flowers, the beach, the zoo... but one kept flashing in my mind and filling me with dread. Lukey and his love affair with his pecker and his obsession with Thomas. I was SURE that somewhere on this cake there would be Thomas the Tank Engine pulling along a freight car of you know whats! He'd promised me one for Christmas and wasn't very happy that Santa didn't hook me up (thank God).

Ok, back to the B'day cake. I cross the kitchen, steal myself for trains and hoo-ha's then BAM!

There's the cake. In all of its laundry basket and bowling goodness! That's right a laundry basket with clothes hanging over the side and a bowling ball and pins. The cake was SOOOOO good and pecker free! I am a lucky B'day girl!